The movie was very well done, GREAT fighting scenes (notice I capitalized the word great), not too much dialog – it’s more like 99% action!  It has all the right ingredients to make an action movie.  There were a few times where I literally hold my breath because the movie was pretty intense.  Even when the good guy was beating the shit out of all the bad guys, I was also holding my breath.  I think it’s been a long time the last time since I saw an extremely awesome action movie (couldn’t even remember the last time I saw a decent one……maybe Rambo 4?  Naaaw…Stallone looks so damn old.  I was having a hard time believing he was actually doing all those action scenes).

Hollywood definitely needs someone like Iko Uwais (the main star in the movie).  If he was up against either Seagal or Jet Li…or even Van Damme, I would probably put my money on him.  He might be a few inches shorter than those guys (except for Jet Li since he’s practically a midget), but he can definitely take them out anytime, anywhere.  So bad-ass!

IndoDONKEY Alert!

I love Jack Black in Nacho Libre - I thought it was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.  Especially seeing him in those light blue tights, I just couldn’t stop cracking up.  Steve Martin – well, I pretty much love anything that he has done so far.  He is, officially and unofficially, one of the funniest guys in Hollywood.  And Owen Wilson, well okay I liked him when he teamed up with Jackie Chan making that cowboy movie (can’t remember what it’s called) and the other movie about a dog (Marley and Me).  So when I heard three of them teamed up making this movie, I had seriously thought it was going to be another awesome funny movie!  I honestly was not expecting to fall asleep during the movie!  I mean, I literally fell asleep half hour into the movie…..can you imagine how bad it was?

Basically, this movie is about the bird watchers.  They compete to spot the rarest birds in North America, and whoever has the most number of birds spotted, well he will be officially recognized as the best bird watcher in the world.  But there is no prize money involved.  Not even Walmart coupons or Bed, Bath & Beyond discounts, or even McDonald’s Dollar coupons.  They only compete for bragging rights.  How silly is that?  A movie about freakin’ BIRD WATCHING?!

Even though I fell asleep, I did continue watching this until it ended since I was just that bored and at the same time curious how it would end.  After watching it, I definitely thought this movie fall under these following categories:

• Suitable For Ages 1 – 100.  Seriously though, no nudity whatsoever in this movie.  So if you want to watch this movie at home with the kids, it is perfectly safe
• The Perfect Date Movie.  It is a perfect date movie.  Can’t really think otherwise.  Especially if you have a boring date, then this movie cannot be more than perfect for you
• WTF Plotline.  As I mentioned before, this movie is about bird watching.  How silly is that?

IndoDONKEY Alert!

The trailer is the first reason why I wanted to see the movie.  My 2nd reason, is the director, Steven Soderbergh.  Dude has directed some pretty cool movies in the past, like Ocean 11, Ocean 12, Ocean 13, Erin Brockovich, Out of Sight (JLo and George Clooney), etc.  He did make one helluva boring movie though, Solaris, which successfully put me to sleep in the theater.  But it is okay, I forgave him a long time ago.

Anyways, if you have time to spare on weekend, go see this one in the theater.  Do not even bother to get the pirated version of the movie or even wait until this comes out in DVD.  You have got to see this in a big screen!  The fighting scenes are just much better to be seen in a big-ass screen.  Seriously though, when I said she could kick ass, yes she could really kick ass.  Hell, if somebody puts her and Sir Jean Claude Van Damme in a cage, I think I would put my money on her.  She would kick his balls when he does his split-roundkick and then she would pin him on the ground (probably break some of his bones in the process).

Incredible.  She was just incredible.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

I did not really know what had gotten me, but somehow I decided to watch Shark Night 3D – but without the 3D glasses.  No, I did not see this at the theatre.  I knew it was a stupid movie and I am too cheap to watch stupid movies at the theatre.  I got nothing to do on Sunday morning, so I decided to watch it.  I kept my expectation really low….as low as expecting PeeWee Herman wins an Oscar.

You want to know what I thought about the movie?  I thought it was one helluva worst 2011 movie.  It was unbelievably DUMB.  I mean, I kind of kept my expectation really low, but I should have kept it lower.  I would love to know who was the idiot that came up with the script.  It was really BAD, extremely BAD I might add.  First of all, nobody was famous in this movie.  I mean, NOBODY.  They probably could not find any good actors that would want to play in the movie, so they had probably decided to cast all the extras to be the main stars in the movie.  The acting was so so, it was basically just a bunch of college kids running around trying to kill the big bad-ass sharks.

Second, there was a particular scene in the movie which DID NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!  Sorry for using caps, but I just thought it was extremely ESTUPIDO.  So this black dude was water skiing in the lake.  His friends were stirring the boat and yelling at him to do all the fancy moves – which he did.  All of sudden, there was this shark that came out of nowhere and started chasing the black dude.  The shark finally bit the water ski board, which caused the black dude (sorry, I kept referring him as “the black dude” since 1. He’s black, and 2. I couldn’t remember his name) fell into the water.  So his friends stopped the boat and started yelling at him to come up since they could not see him anywhere in the water (they did not know about the shark).  But the black dude never came up, and they only found the board.  So they went back to the lake house and told everyone how the black dude fell into the water and just disappeared.  You know what happened next?  They found the black dude swim ashore after falling in the middle of the lake…and his right arm (or maybe left arm?) was completely GONE!  Gone as in bitten off by the shark!  Dude was swimming with one arm, probably crossing half of the lake to get ashore, and he ain’t losing much blood.  How the F is that even possible?  He would have died in the process because of losing too much blood! And you know what happened next again?  One of his friends jumped into the lake, trying to find the missing arm……and HE FOUND IT.  First of all, how the F would you know where to find the arm.  It was one big-ass lake!  And the boy found it within a few minutes.  Whomever wrote this screenplay deserves to get shot in the head.

If I had to write all the stupid scenes that I saw in the movie, it would probably take me hours to describe each one of them in this blog.  The movie was just incredible.  I mean, incredibly stupid.  Oh, and have I told you that these sharks were wearing video cameras.  Yes, they were.  Turns out there is a group of bad guys who are behind this (and obviously, they are all rednecks).  So those sharks being in the lake was not just coincidence.  It was part of one big evil plan.  The plan was, they would install the video cameras on the sharks’ heads and they would release them in the lake, hoping the sharks would eat anyone that come in their way.  When that happens, the whole “eating” process would get recorded, and these bad boys would sell the tapes to the Shark Week show.  They believe they would make big bucks from selling the tapes.  How stupid is that?

IndoDONKEY Alert!

What the F is WWF exactly trying to do?  Find the next Dwayne Johnson (a.k.a. The Rock)?  Honestly, I like The Rock better than John Cena.  Better acting and looks more charismatic.  John Cena, on the other hand, looks more like a Hollywood club bouncer.  He seems like a nice guy, but I am pretty sure he would end up getting cast for the same character over and over….just like Steven Seagal.

I kinda liked the work that he did on the first movie though, The Marine.  I think he has done a pretty good job in the movie, being a marine who was trying to save his kidnapped wife.  Even though the plot was pretty boring and unoriginal, but I cannot say I was not entertained watching it.  After making The Marine, he went on making another movie, 12 Rounds.  Guess what the plot was?  Detective Danny Fisher discovers his girlfriend has been kidnapped by a ex-con tied to Fisher’s past, and he’ll have to successfully complete 12 challenges in order to secure her safe release.  Oh reeeaaallllyy?  Saving your kidnapped girlfriend?

Now he teamed up with Amy Smart and the nerd from Can’t Hardly Wait (the one who got dumped by Jennifer Love Hewitt) in The Reunion.  It is a story about a group of step siblings (same father but different mothers) who completely lost touch for years and one day they were reunited after their father passed away only to realize that they were about to inherit $3 million each – under one condition, they would have to work on a family business for 2 years to receive the windfall.

15 minutes into it, I knew the movie was gonna suck.  Actually, 3 minutes into it once I saw that dude from Can’t Hardly Wait, I immediately knew the movie was gonna suck.  Oh you know one thing that I notice when I see John Cena, this guy has tremendously big wrists!  I kid you not!  His wrists are about as thick as my legs, which make him look kinda weird.  He looks way too big and too buff for a guy his size.  Unless if he is 6 foot 5 inches tall, that would have been different.  But unfortunately, he is only 6-foot tall.  Probably 6’1″ max.  Dude needs to lose weight a little and slim down a bit, so he would not look like Popeye – if you know what I mean.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

I thought this movie was all about suspense.  Turns out it was more gory than I thought.  The first hour was just okay, started pretty slow.  The rape scene just looks so real.  I have read some of the reviews out there, and there are some people saying that the only reason why they watch the movie is because of the rape scene – which I thought it was pretty sick.

The storyline revolves around this one girl, who happens to be a one hot puppy.  She was just minding her own business – writing a book in the middle of nowhere, then all of sudden four rednecks showed up at her cabin and started harassing her.  She was basically raped by four guys (well, five if you count the retard whom was forced to rape her, too).  They did not really cast anyone famous to play in the movie, yet I truly enjoyed watching it since their acting was simply incredible.  It really took the suspense to another level.  Of course, there is a happy ending in the end – though they did not really explain how she was able to survive and managed to get all the tools she needed to get even with those guys.  I hope that is what they do to all the rapists out there.  Whoooupss..sorry for the spoiler.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

Anyways, I decided to watch it since I got nothing to do on weekends.  It was either this movie or the other horse one (you know, the one that was directed by Spielberg).  The other one was about the friendship between a guy and a horse.  Since I’m not really a big fan of movie about horses, I decided to settle with The Darkest Hour.  Besides, this movie has Emile Hirsch in it, and they guy rarely makes bad movies (i.e. Into the Wild, Taking Woodstock, Milk, and The Girl Next Door).

The first few minutes was okay, but 45 minutes going into the movie, I was like when does this movie ever end?!  I seriously started counting down, hoping the good guys will eventually beat the aliens, then the closing credit, and bam….I’m outta theatre.  A couple of things that really bother me:

• The aliens look like glowing jelly fish.  I mean, seriously…they all look like glowing jelly fish.  At first, I didn’t really notice it.  But after a while, I began to think wait a minute, these aliens look exactly like jelly fish!  Except for the fact that they’re kinda glowing orange.  And you don’t even know the physical structure of these aliens.  There are a couple of scenes where the good guys were shooting at them with some sort of big-funny-lookin’ microwave guns (so as they say) and we could finally see what the aliens look like.  They’re like small midgets, but real ugly.  And they’re in some sort of special suit which makes them invisible during the day and glow orange whenever there’s electricity around…or something like that.
• There’s one scene where it just completely doesn’t make any sense!  So they were on a boat going down the river, then all of sudden something exploded which threw them into the water.  When they finally emerged, they couldn’t find this one girl and they thought the girl had drown and dead.  But a few minutes later, someone shot a flare gun and turns out it was the girl.  The problem is, the girl was like in the middle of some buildings near the river.  I was like, how the hell did she end up there?  I mean, everyone was on the boat, then the explosion happened which threw everyone into the water.  But somehow this girl was able to emerge ahead of everyone else, swam and got out of the water (while everyone was still under the water) without waiting for anyone, ran all the way to the nearby building and hid.  And when she realized she couldn’t find anyone, she shot the flare gun hoping everyone would find her.  I mean, WTH man?  She should’ve figured out why she couldn’t find her friends.  Or she should’ve just stayed in the water since that’s where everyone was.  Tsk tsk tsk….
• The microwave gun looks exactly like a big-ass squirt gun.  Seriously……
• The reason behind the invasion is copper and steel.  Yes, the aliens decided to come to earth not because they wanted to get our women and children, or build a freakin’ alien real estate and migrate all of their alien population to earth, or mine all the gold, diamond and oil, or perhaps eat humans.  Nope, they don’t want any of that.  They just want to mine copper and steel…..that’s it.

Anyways, this past few days I’ve been trying to find some good Indonesian movies.  Good things about Indonesian movies are they’re not too heavy (meaning it’s more like pop-corn type of movie, easy to digest) and the good guys always win.  Oh and also, they’re free (thanks to YouTube).  The only problem that I have now is to find a really good Indonesian movie.  To be honest with you, I don’t really keep up with Indonesian movie industry at all.  Too much drama..more drama than Hollywood, I’d say.  So for me to find the latest Indo movies, I really have to depend so much on YouTube.  The weird thing is, so far the ones that I’ve found are Indo horror movies.  Somehow people are starting to obsess with horror movies, so the studios are trying to feed the masses by making as many horror movies as they could.  The result is we now have a bunch of really bad quality horror movies that don’t even make any sense whatsoever!

Here are some of the ones that I’ve found recently:

• Anak Setan (Satan’s Child or maybe Evil Kid – really depends on the context of the movie)
• Arwah Goyang Karawang (The Karawang Move Spirit – honestly I don’t how to properly translate “Goyang Karawang”. I think it’s some sort of traditional dance move)
• Dedemit Gunung Kidul (The Kidul Mountain Big-Fat Ghost – I think that’s the correct way to translate “Dedemit.” They say “Dedemit” is some type of a ghost, only bigger and fatter)
• Dikejar Setan (Chased by the Ghost)
• Hantu Biang Kerok (The Troublemaker Ghost – What the hell….?)
• Hantu Binal Jembatan Semanggi (The Semanggi Bridge Slutty Ghost – this is even worse)
• Hantu Puncak Datang Bulan (The Menstruated Peak Ghost – never knew ghosts could menstruate, too)
• Jeritan Kuntilanak (The Screaming Female Ghost)
• Kuntilanak Kamar Mayat (The Mortuary Female Ghost)
• Kuntilanak 2 (The Female Ghost 2)
• Kuntilanak 3 (The Female Ghost 3 – OK seriously, I don’t know what the obsession is with this female ghost. They even made the sequels and spin-offs of these female ghost movies…my God)
• Dendam Kuntilanak (The Revenge of Female Ghost – oh here’s another one)
• And last but not least, the Pocong series:
• Pocong Jum’at Kliwon
• Pocong Kamar Sebelah
• Pocong Keliling
• Pocong Ngesot
• Pocong Rumah Angker
• Pocong Setan Jompo
• Pocong 2
• Pocong 3

Anyways, I found this on Cracked.com and thought I’d like to share with you all – in case if you want to make your own Nicholas Spark movie..  Hahahahahaa..

I wonder what would have happened if Nicholas Spark was the one who wrote  the other stuff…

The black dude who was half human, half goat really annoyed the hell out of me.  He was supposedly “the protector” – someone who protects Percy from anyone who wants to kill him – however, seeing the way he fought, I was seriously in doubt he could protect Percy.  Dude walked around with freakin’ forearm crutches.  Come on now!  How in the world would Percy Jackson be safe from the evil gods/monsters if his only protector walks around with freakin’ forearm crutches?!  They never really showed us if this guy could fight, shoot arrows or maybe have some sword fighting skills or something.  Throughout the movie, I somehow kept wishing he would at least be able to shoot laser from his eyes or something.

Percy Jackson is half god, half human.  His dad is Poseidon, and his mom is basically a mortal human.  His dad left when he was still 3 years old, because supposedly there was unwritten rule somewhere that says when a god is married to a mortal human, then he/she will not be able to stay with his/her family after the child is born.

So Percy Jackson didn’t even know anything about his dad and him being half god, half human until sometime later when he was on a school trip to a museum, one of his teachers all of sudden turned into a really fugly monster with wings and tried to kill him.  He was like, “WTF IS THAT?!”  Then his other teacher, James Bond (or whatever Pierce Brosnan’s character name is) showed up and said, “Well son, you are half god, half human..  And I think that monster wants Zeus’ lightning because she thinks you stole it.”   Heh thanks to his mom who kept her mouth shut about this for 17 years and didn’t even tell anything to young Percy.  Had he known about him being half god half human soon, at least he would’ve been prepared to face the fugly monster with wings.  So basically that’s the whole plot.  Someone stole Zeus’ lightning and somehow spread the word in the god’s world that some young kid named Percy Jackson stole it.  Come on, seriously..  You think gods are that dumb to believe that some 17-year-old kid who had no superpowers, let alone knowing his dad is Poseidon, was able to go (or fly) all the way up to god’s world and somehow stole Zeus’ super duper lightning sword (or whatever) right under his nose…  Tsk tsk tsk tsk….  Thank God I was streaming this movie for free.

IndoDONKEY Alert!