IndoDONKEY

Look, I have no problems at all with Nicholas Sparks.  I’ve read some of his books (Message in a Bottle and The Notebook), and watched some of the movies that based on his books (Message in a Bottle, The Notebook and Dear John).  Dear John was a mistake, by the way.  I was dragged to see that one even though I knew watching Duke from GI Joe falling in love with Dakota Fanning wasn’t something that I would enjoy watching.

Anyways, I found this on Cracked.com and thought I’d like to share with you all – in case if you want to make your own Nicholas Spark movie..  Hahahahahaa..

I wonder what would have happened if Nicholas Spark was the one who wrote Star Wars..  Hmmm…

So I’ve heard a lot of people talking about how good this movie is and how it’s much better than Marley and Me.  I was like, AW COME ON!  Marley and Me is like one of the best movies about dogs that I’ve seen by far..  It’s even much better than Lassie!  OK well Lassie is a TV show, so can’t really compare that one with Marley and Me.  Totally different.  I guess I can just say Marley and Me is much better than Scooby Doo?

Hachiko (or Hachi) is the name of the dog that Parker Wilson (Richard Gere) found at the train station when he was on the way home.  For the next few days, he was trying to find out whom Hachiko belonged to.  He put up ads everywhere, and he was also trying to give him up for donation.  But somewhere along the way, he started to fall in love with Hachiko.  So he decided to keep him.  His friend said, “It wasn’t you who found him..  He found you.”

Hachiko is actually an American adaption of a Japanese tale about a loyal dog named Hachiko.  The dog would accompany his master to the train station every day and return each afternoon to greet him after work.  One day, his master passed away and never returned to the station.  Hachiko faithfully returned to the same spot at the station the very next day, and every day for the next nine years to wait for his beloved master until he finally died.  It is truly a sad story and I was really touched by his devotion, love, compassion and unyielding loyalty.  It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen by far, and I was really surprised that this one didn’t even come out in the theater.

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings (American Humorist , 1818-1885)

IndoDONKEY Alert!

First of all, I’d like to say one thing before I start writing my review..  I DO NOT WATCH CHICK FLICKS! I don’t think I can ever get into chick flicks at all.  Well okay, I think there was one time when I watched The Notebook with my buddies..  But that was because I had read the book which the movie was based on and really liked it, and Rachel McAdams was just too damn cute in that movie.  The book was very well-written, so when the movie came out I’d thought I would just give it a shot.  Aaand as I said before, Rachel McAdams was in the movie.  So that was perfectly reasonable.

I never wanted to see Dear John.  Never ever.  I even made fun of my co-worker who was sooo looking forward to seeing it, she even put it up as her Facebook status.  When I saw the trailer for the first time, I was like wait a minute..  Is that Duke from GI JOE making out with Dakota Fanning???  I honestly thought that blond girl who was Duke’s love interest was Dakota Fanning!  Later I found out her name was Amanda Seyfriend.  Apparently she was one of mean girls in Mean Girls (remember that Lindsay Lohan’s movie that came out years ago?).

It was never my intention to see Dear John (okay this is the second time I wrote it here).  We were doing our Sunday Movie Buffet (you go to the theater and see two to three movies back-to-back, but only pay for one) and just as we finished our first movie (The Wolfman), we were going to sneak in to another theater next door only to find out there was a theater attendant standing by the entrance, checking everyone’s ticket.  We were like, shittt..  Let’s wait for a few minutes.  We assumed he’d be gone after 15-20 minutes.  Apparently not – he was still standing there, and we honestly thought he’d be standing there for another half an hour.  So I was like, okay this is way too long.  Let’s just sneak in to another theater.  We can’t just hang out here for another 15 minutes, someone will get suspicious.  So I checked the movie schedule on my BlackBerry, trying to see which movie that was playing around that time or within the next 5 minutes or so..  And sure enough, all other movies would not start for another hour, except for………DEAR FU*KIN JOHN.  CRAP!

Dear John was based on a book with the same title, written by Nicholas Sparks.  It’s about a story of a soldier who falls in love with a college student while he’s home on leave.  It’s a pretty romantic story; I assume the book is probably much better than the movie.  It kinda felt pretty entertaining and relaxing to watch a romantic drama, especially when you had just finished watching a suspense thriller movie where it showed a lot of decapitated human limbs.  Both Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried really had great chemistry in the movie.  I thought they really nailed the characters down pretty well.  I really loved her beach house..  Gosh I wonder when I’ll be able to afford to have something like that.  A house by the beach..  A real beach, I might add.  I also loved the guy who played as Channing’s dad.  Can’t remember his name though..  But I’ve seen this guy many times in comedy movies.  Too bad he didn’t have a lot of lines in this movie since he was playing as an autistic guy (who collected coins and made freakin’ lasagna every Sunday.. Come onnnn!).  Even though Amanda Seyfried acted really well in Dear John, I kinda wished that the producers would’ve picked another girl for the character.  Somehow every time I saw her face, she really reminded me of Dakota Fanning.  I wish they had cast Jennifer Love Hewitt..  Oh that would’ve been so much better!

The movie was pretty sad – just like other movies that were based on Nicholas Sparks’ tear-jerker novels.  It was romantic and sad, but not depressing though.  Thank God I didn’t shed a tear – but I assumed 99.9% of the audience was probably crying at that time.   I definitely recommend this as a movie to watch on a Valentine’s Day or a first date.  It’s a mighty chick flick, but it can get you lucky with your date afterwards.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

Mann I gotta tell ya…  This movie has completely surprised me.  When it first came out,  I was like, “Oh great..  Another movie about dogs.  I still don’t understand why Hollywood keeps involving animals as the supporting characters in the movies.  There was one movie where the supporting character was a Loch-Ness monster.  I mean, who the f*** in the world has seen a Loch Ness monster?  They made it look like it was a mix between a sea lion and a dolphin.  The movie came out a few years back, and until now I can’t even remember what the title is.  And now, a puppy.  What’s next?  A porcupine?”

Anyways, so when this movie came out in DVD, I decided to give it a shot.  Hell, if I could survive watching Lassie re-runs for hours when I was growing up, I definitely could handle 2 hours watching another dog movie.  I had a very low expectation for this movie despite all the rave reviews that I had heard from a lot of people.

This movies tells a story about a young newlywed couple who moved to a new city, and tried to adjust their life with the new surrounding and new jobs, and a little puppy in between.  I was pleasantly surprised how much I liked this movie.  It wasn’t just all about dogs, but it was also about a journey of love, romance and relationships.  Marley, the dog, was just too adorable.  Well he looked adorable at first..  But after a while, the dog has turned into a little force to be reckoned with.  He’d be peeing everywhere, ripping the sofa cushions, eating pretty much anything in his sight, pooping anywhere he wanted to, biting and chewing anything, going after the postman and much much more..  He was like a living nightmare, to be honest hahahahaaa..  But beyond that, he was a sweet dog whose loyalty was unquestionable, very affectionate, loving and sweet.  Even for those who think dogs aren’t man’s bestfriend, they would find this movie sweet and enjoyable.

This movie kinda reminds me of our family dog, Sir John.  Don’t ask me why we named him Sir John – my siblings were the ones who came up with the name.  I had always been against having any four-legged animals running around the house as pet.  That’s why all my life I’ve only had 2 very low-maintenance pets, a turtle and a gold fish named Bob.  But when I had a privilege of getting to know Sir John when I went home for my vacation in 2008, I immediately liked him.  He was basically the perfect dog I’ve ever met in my life..  Doesn’t bark, doesn’t lick, doesn’t run around and destroy everything, doesn’t fight with other dogs and doesn’t poop/pee anywhere.  He was just basically a fun, sensitive and loving dog.

Marley and Me is definitely not another romantic, cheesy type of chick flick.  Well..  It still falls under category chick flick, but it ain’t The Notebook or Confessions of Shopaholic – if you know what I mean.  It had a wonderful story, and lots of times I felt the movie played with my emotion.  No, I did not shed a single tear, in case if you’re wondering..  Yes, I’d definitely recommend this one as a date movie.  Just make sure you bring some protection…  And I don’t mean helmet, by the way.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

I’m not really a big fan of movies about relationships.  Most of them tend to have the same plot, like some chick falls in love with some guy but the guy doesn’t even notice so she proceeds to do any possible silly things to get her noticed.  Or maybe some guy likes his girl co-worker and she always gives him a hard time, so he develops some crazy theories why the girl is doing that to him, etc.  Crappy screenplay, awful dialogs, not-so-funny jokes and extremely good looking stars for main characters are basically the recipes for chick flicks, and they always end with happy ending.

So when I saw the Ugly Truth movie poster and trailer, I completely had zero interest.  OK so it had King Leonidas and sweet lookin Katherine Heigl as the main characters, yea BIG DEAL.  I still wasn’t tempted to watch it.  Until it finally came out in Netflix, I was like hmm OK maybe I should check it out..  At least I wouldn’t have to pay $11 to see it in the theater.

The Ugly Truth is about male and female relationships.  Gerard Butler hosts a TV show that talks about all the ugly truths in male and female relationships, like when a guy sees a girl, the first thing that he’d notice is her boobs and her butt; her personality will come second – which I have to admit, it is kinda true hahahaha..  And Katherine Heigl is a TV producer whose morning show is struggling to keep up with ratings, until her boss finally decides to bring in Gerard Butler and incorporate his show into a  five-minute segment in the morning show.  As a result, ratings go up and everyone is happy but not Katherine Heigl because she thinks he’s the biggest jerk that she’s ever met and she’s just so eager to proves that all his theories are untrue.

To be honest with you, some of the theories and wisdoms that Gerard Butler says in this movie kinda make sense.  For instance, you wanna make your guy happy?  Just show up wearing a tiny little lingerie and he’ll be happy.  Guys are simple, they’re easy to please and they’re very direct.  We’re not melodramatic like the soap opera.  But girls, aww man..  We’re talking about getting a nice bouquet of flowers, going to some romantic candlelit dinner, taking her to see ballet, buying some nice necklace from Tiffany, etc etc etc..  YES, sometimes it really does take a lot of (so much) effort to make a girl happy and it still wouldn’t guarantee that she’ll be happy.

I was pretty surprised when I found myself enjoy watching the movie.  I seriously couldn’t stop laughing at every joke the movie delivered.  Sometimes in the middle of the movie, the image of Gerard Butler as King Leonidas (bearded and wearing the red cape and Sparta red underwear) popped up in my head.  It happened every so often and I wasn’t sure why..  Hahahhaaa..  You know what, I kinda wished that there would be a twist in the movie where Gerard Butler would scream “This is the ugly truth, biatccchhh!” and kick Katherine Heigl down to a dark, endless pit.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

What does this mean?

Before I start writing my review, I’d like to say one thing: I’m not into the Twilight Saga.  I saw the 1st movie, and really hated it.  I thought it was extremely cheesy and was definitely a perfect movie for pimpled teenage girls.  I felt like I was in pain hearing some of the dialogues in the movie.  I’ve seen a lot of cheesy movies before, but that one was literally at the top of the list.

So now you’re probably wondering, if I hated the 1st one so much, then why did I even bother to see the 2nd one and basically let myself endure the same pain and suffering for nearly 2 hours?  Well the answer is, I have no idea.  I kept asking myself that question over and over, from the moment I bought the ticket until the time the movie began..  I kept wondering what the hell I am doing here and still had no clue why I was there.

A few seconds after the lights turned down the girls started screaming.  I looked up only to find the movie was still showing the opening credit.  I was like, you’ve got to be kidding me.  Neither Edward or Jacob was in sight and they already started screaming?!  Some were clapping their hands.  I was sitting there, torn between whether I should scream my lungs out like the girls in the theater, or start clapping my hands like a crazy person.

I honestly don’t understand what’s so hot about this Edward guy.  He’s too skinny, too pale and not so good-looking.  Heck if I were a girl, I don’t think I’d be into Edward.  Even for a vampire, he’s too damn sensitive.  Too goddamn soft.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a vegetarian and drove a station wagon before he became a vampire.

The girls started screaming again at the sight of Edward coming out of his car..  Oh god.  But this time, they would also scream at the sight of Jacob’s sick puppies (a.k.a. Jacob’s six pack).  I could honestly tell that the director intentionally had his screenwriters write a lot of scenes where Jacob would show up with his shirt off, flaunting his rock hard abs.  Either they’d scream or I’d hear occasional gasps with eyes staring intently at the screen hahahhaaaa…  Ahh teenage girls, they’re so easy to please.

I honestly thought this movie was so much better than the 1st one.  There were a few action scenes – my favorite one was the one where this pack of wolves running after this black vampire and finally ripped him apart.  That was pretty cool.  I kinda wish the director would have done it Tarantino style though.  More blood and gory.  Oh my other favorite scene was the one where Edward fighting against this club bouncer-lookin vampire in Italy..  He basically grabbed Edward and tossed him around like a rag doll.  That was pretty fun seeing Edward being tossed around left and right and wasn’t able to do anything about it.

Overall, I think this movie was made only for teenage girls.  It’s definitely not a date movie – believe me, I don’t think you can get any action after seeing this movie.  The Edward guy – totally not hot.  That Jacob guy on the other hand, he was alright.  I could see why girls would drool over him.  Edward’s dad needed to have more lines, and possibly his own action scenes.  It would’ve been awesome if Blade had all of sudden come out of nowhere and started slaying the vampires hahahaaa..  Oh one more thing, if I get the question again (that’s been going around on Facebook): “Whose team am I on – team Edward or team Jacob”?  I’d say I’ll be on team shut-the-hell-up-I’ve-had-enough-of-Twilight.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

What does this mean?