IndoDONKEY

I honestly do not know what is going on in Hollywood these days.  Almost 60% of the movies made nowadays are 3D, and pretty much all of them are extremely unbelievably BAD.  They just assume since 3D formula worked like wonders with Avatar, then it would work like wonders too with all the other movies.  So far they have turned anything from cartoon to a dance movie into 3D (yes, seriously…a dance movie – look up StreetDance 3D).

I did not really know what had gotten me, but somehow I decided to watch Shark Night 3D – but without the 3D glasses.  No, I did not see this at the theatre.  I knew it was a stupid movie and I am too cheap to watch stupid movies at the theatre.  I got nothing to do on Sunday morning, so I decided to watch it.  I kept my expectation really low….as low as expecting PeeWee Herman wins an Oscar.

You want to know what I thought about the movie?  I thought it was one helluva worst 2011 movie.  It was unbelievably DUMB.  I mean, I kind of kept my expectation really low, but I should have kept it lower.  I would love to know who was the idiot that came up with the script.  It was really BAD, extremely BAD I might add.  First of all, nobody was famous in this movie.  I mean, NOBODY.  They probably could not find any good actors that would want to play in the movie, so they had probably decided to cast all the extras to be the main stars in the movie.  The acting was so so, it was basically just a bunch of college kids running around trying to kill the big bad-ass sharks.

Second, there was a particular scene in the movie which DID NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!  Sorry for using caps, but I just thought it was extremely ESTUPIDO.  So this black dude was water skiing in the lake.  His friends were stirring the boat and yelling at him to do all the fancy moves – which he did.  All of sudden, there was this shark that came out of nowhere and started chasing the black dude.  The shark finally bit the water ski board, which caused the black dude (sorry, I kept referring him as “the black dude” since 1. He’s black, and 2. I couldn’t remember his name) fell into the water.  So his friends stopped the boat and started yelling at him to come up since they could not see him anywhere in the water (they did not know about the shark).  But the black dude never came up, and they only found the board.  So they went back to the lake house and told everyone how the black dude fell into the water and just disappeared.  You know what happened next?  They found the black dude swim ashore after falling in the middle of the lake…and his right arm (or maybe left arm?) was completely GONE!  Gone as in bitten off by the shark!  Dude was swimming with one arm, probably crossing half of the lake to get ashore, and he ain’t losing much blood.  How the F is that even possible?  He would have died in the process because of losing too much blood! And you know what happened next again?  One of his friends jumped into the lake, trying to find the missing arm……and HE FOUND IT.  First of all, how the F would you know where to find the arm.  It was one big-ass lake!  And the boy found it within a few minutes.  Whomever wrote this screenplay deserves to get shot in the head.

If I had to write all the stupid scenes that I saw in the movie, it would probably take me hours to describe each one of them in this blog.  The movie was just incredible.  I mean, incredibly stupid.  Oh, and have I told you that these sharks were wearing video cameras.  Yes, they were.  Turns out there is a group of bad guys who are behind this (and obviously, they are all rednecks).  So those sharks being in the lake was not just coincidence.  It was part of one big evil plan.  The plan was, they would install the video cameras on the sharks’ heads and they would release them in the lake, hoping the sharks would eat anyone that come in their way.  When that happens, the whole “eating” process would get recorded, and these bad boys would sell the tapes to the Shark Week show.  They believe they would make big bucks from selling the tapes.  How stupid is that?

IndoDONKEY Alert!

Man….

I thought this movie was all about suspense.  Turns out it was more gory than I thought.  The first hour was just okay, started pretty slow.  The rape scene just looks so real.  I have read some of the reviews out there, and there are some people saying that the only reason why they watch the movie is because of the rape scene – which I thought it was pretty sick.

The storyline revolves around this one girl, who happens to be a one hot puppy.  She was just minding her own business – writing a book in the middle of nowhere, then all of sudden four rednecks showed up at her cabin and started harassing her.  She was basically raped by four guys (well, five if you count the retard whom was forced to rape her, too).  They did not really cast anyone famous to play in the movie, yet I truly enjoyed watching it since their acting was simply incredible.  It really took the suspense to another level.  Of course, there is a happy ending in the end – though they did not really explain how she was able to survive and managed to get all the tools she needed to get even with those guys.  I hope that is what they do to all the rapists out there.  Whoooupss..sorry for the spoiler.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

This movie wasn’t as bad-ass as I thought it would be.  Ever since Twilight came out, vampires and werewolves have gained popularity, and all of sudden Hollywood studios started making movies about vampires and werewolves.

So when I heard about this movie and saw the poster, I was like oh please..  Another movie about werewolves?  Wait, Anthony Hopkins and Benicio Del Toro are in it?  For real?  I started wondering why these two great actors were starring in this movie..  I mean it’s not like they were trying to compete with Edward from Twilight, right?  So after debating whether I should watch it in the theater or DVD, I finally decided to go see it in the theater since the trailer itself looked kinda promising.

The Wolfman is a story of Lawrence Talbot, a nobleman who was called back to his family estate after his brother vanished.  Later his brother’s dead body was found in a horrifying  condition.  Lawrence then started investigating the murder, only to find and unfold other family secrets that were kept from him all these years.

OK first of all, I thought the movie was about werewolves.  Apparently, it was not.  A wolfman IS NOT a werewolf!  Yupp, I got confused right in the middle of the movie.  I was under impression when Benicio Del Toro turned into a wolfman (whoupss SPOIL ALERT!), he was gonna turn into a complete wolf.  Well I was dead wrong.  He did not completely turn into a wolf (like that Native Indian kid does in Twilight), only his mouth, hands and feet that would transform.  Oh, and he would also grow hair all over his body.  That was it!  Anyone who bumps into him that night, would probably think he’s a hairy, creepy lookin’ homeless guy.  Nothing more.  But when Anthony Hopkins turned into a wolfman, boyy he was one fugly wolfman.  I mean, he basically looked like an OLD hairy, creepy lookin’ homeless guy..  Well except that he looked scarier than Benicio.  If you ever watched Teen Wolf (with Michael J. Fox), these wolfmen look nothing like him.  Teen wolf kinda looks like a mix between that stupid bigfoot from Harry and the Hendersons TV show and the caveman from Geico commercial.  The wolfmen in this movie looked more terrifying than teen wolf.  At least they did a pretty good job with the make-up.

When I was watching the movie, I was gonna eat my sandwich until I saw a scene where it showed the wolfman killing a group of guys in a Tasmanian Devil sort-of way.  Seriously..  I saw human limbs flying everywhere and blood squirting all over the place.  I was like, hoooooolllyy crap!  WTF is that?  Oh..  I guess those are intestines spread out all over..  I see.  Definitely not an ideal time to enjoy my sandwich.

I honestly thought the movie was pretty decent..  I think they did a pretty good job casting the right people for the roles.  I didn’t even know Mr. Smith from the Matrix was gonna be in this movie as well.  Hahah yeah somehow every time I saw his face, I kept wishing he would say something like, “Hello Mr. Anderson..”  Or maybe he would put his sunglasses on when he rode his horse.  The action scenes were also great and very entertaining – although I didn’t really enjoy seeing human limbs flying everywhere, or when the wolfman decapitated one of his attackers.  So my advice, please keep your snacks/food away if you’re going to see this movie.  Some scenes can be pretty graphic and should not be viewed if you have a weak stomach.

IndoDONKEY Alert!