I did not really know what had gotten me, but somehow I decided to watch Shark Night 3D – but without the 3D glasses.  No, I did not see this at the theatre.  I knew it was a stupid movie and I am too cheap to watch stupid movies at the theatre.  I got nothing to do on Sunday morning, so I decided to watch it.  I kept my expectation really low….as low as expecting PeeWee Herman wins an Oscar.

You want to know what I thought about the movie?  I thought it was one helluva worst 2011 movie.  It was unbelievably DUMB.  I mean, I kind of kept my expectation really low, but I should have kept it lower.  I would love to know who was the idiot that came up with the script.  It was really BAD, extremely BAD I might add.  First of all, nobody was famous in this movie.  I mean, NOBODY.  They probably could not find any good actors that would want to play in the movie, so they had probably decided to cast all the extras to be the main stars in the movie.  The acting was so so, it was basically just a bunch of college kids running around trying to kill the big bad-ass sharks.

Second, there was a particular scene in the movie which DID NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!  Sorry for using caps, but I just thought it was extremely ESTUPIDO.  So this black dude was water skiing in the lake.  His friends were stirring the boat and yelling at him to do all the fancy moves – which he did.  All of sudden, there was this shark that came out of nowhere and started chasing the black dude.  The shark finally bit the water ski board, which caused the black dude (sorry, I kept referring him as “the black dude” since 1. He’s black, and 2. I couldn’t remember his name) fell into the water.  So his friends stopped the boat and started yelling at him to come up since they could not see him anywhere in the water (they did not know about the shark).  But the black dude never came up, and they only found the board.  So they went back to the lake house and told everyone how the black dude fell into the water and just disappeared.  You know what happened next?  They found the black dude swim ashore after falling in the middle of the lake…and his right arm (or maybe left arm?) was completely GONE!  Gone as in bitten off by the shark!  Dude was swimming with one arm, probably crossing half of the lake to get ashore, and he ain’t losing much blood.  How the F is that even possible?  He would have died in the process because of losing too much blood! And you know what happened next again?  One of his friends jumped into the lake, trying to find the missing arm……and HE FOUND IT.  First of all, how the F would you know where to find the arm.  It was one big-ass lake!  And the boy found it within a few minutes.  Whomever wrote this screenplay deserves to get shot in the head.

If I had to write all the stupid scenes that I saw in the movie, it would probably take me hours to describe each one of them in this blog.  The movie was just incredible.  I mean, incredibly stupid.  Oh, and have I told you that these sharks were wearing video cameras.  Yes, they were.  Turns out there is a group of bad guys who are behind this (and obviously, they are all rednecks).  So those sharks being in the lake was not just coincidence.  It was part of one big evil plan.  The plan was, they would install the video cameras on the sharks’ heads and they would release them in the lake, hoping the sharks would eat anyone that come in their way.  When that happens, the whole “eating” process would get recorded, and these bad boys would sell the tapes to the Shark Week show.  They believe they would make big bucks from selling the tapes.  How stupid is that?

IndoDONKEY Alert!

What the F is WWF exactly trying to do?  Find the next Dwayne Johnson (a.k.a. The Rock)?  Honestly, I like The Rock better than John Cena.  Better acting and looks more charismatic.  John Cena, on the other hand, looks more like a Hollywood club bouncer.  He seems like a nice guy, but I am pretty sure he would end up getting cast for the same character over and over….just like Steven Seagal.

I kinda liked the work that he did on the first movie though, The Marine.  I think he has done a pretty good job in the movie, being a marine who was trying to save his kidnapped wife.  Even though the plot was pretty boring and unoriginal, but I cannot say I was not entertained watching it.  After making The Marine, he went on making another movie, 12 Rounds.  Guess what the plot was?  Detective Danny Fisher discovers his girlfriend has been kidnapped by a ex-con tied to Fisher’s past, and he’ll have to successfully complete 12 challenges in order to secure her safe release.  Oh reeeaaallllyy?  Saving your kidnapped girlfriend?

Now he teamed up with Amy Smart and the nerd from Can’t Hardly Wait (the one who got dumped by Jennifer Love Hewitt) in The Reunion.  It is a story about a group of step siblings (same father but different mothers) who completely lost touch for years and one day they were reunited after their father passed away only to realize that they were about to inherit $3 million each – under one condition, they would have to work on a family business for 2 years to receive the windfall.

15 minutes into it, I knew the movie was gonna suck.  Actually, 3 minutes into it once I saw that dude from Can’t Hardly Wait, I immediately knew the movie was gonna suck.  Oh you know one thing that I notice when I see John Cena, this guy has tremendously big wrists!  I kid you not!  His wrists are about as thick as my legs, which make him look kinda weird.  He looks way too big and too buff for a guy his size.  Unless if he is 6 foot 5 inches tall, that would have been different.  But unfortunately, he is only 6-foot tall.  Probably 6’1″ max.  Dude needs to lose weight a little and slim down a bit, so he would not look like Popeye – if you know what I mean.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

Anyways, I decided to watch it since I got nothing to do on weekends.  It was either this movie or the other horse one (you know, the one that was directed by Spielberg).  The other one was about the friendship between a guy and a horse.  Since I’m not really a big fan of movie about horses, I decided to settle with The Darkest Hour.  Besides, this movie has Emile Hirsch in it, and they guy rarely makes bad movies (i.e. Into the Wild, Taking Woodstock, Milk, and The Girl Next Door).

The first few minutes was okay, but 45 minutes going into the movie, I was like when does this movie ever end?!  I seriously started counting down, hoping the good guys will eventually beat the aliens, then the closing credit, and bam….I’m outta theatre.  A couple of things that really bother me:

• The aliens look like glowing jelly fish.  I mean, seriously…they all look like glowing jelly fish.  At first, I didn’t really notice it.  But after a while, I began to think wait a minute, these aliens look exactly like jelly fish!  Except for the fact that they’re kinda glowing orange.  And you don’t even know the physical structure of these aliens.  There are a couple of scenes where the good guys were shooting at them with some sort of big-funny-lookin’ microwave guns (so as they say) and we could finally see what the aliens look like.  They’re like small midgets, but real ugly.  And they’re in some sort of special suit which makes them invisible during the day and glow orange whenever there’s electricity around…or something like that.
• There’s one scene where it just completely doesn’t make any sense!  So they were on a boat going down the river, then all of sudden something exploded which threw them into the water.  When they finally emerged, they couldn’t find this one girl and they thought the girl had drown and dead.  But a few minutes later, someone shot a flare gun and turns out it was the girl.  The problem is, the girl was like in the middle of some buildings near the river.  I was like, how the hell did she end up there?  I mean, everyone was on the boat, then the explosion happened which threw everyone into the water.  But somehow this girl was able to emerge ahead of everyone else, swam and got out of the water (while everyone was still under the water) without waiting for anyone, ran all the way to the nearby building and hid.  And when she realized she couldn’t find anyone, she shot the flare gun hoping everyone would find her.  I mean, WTH man?  She should’ve figured out why she couldn’t find her friends.  Or she should’ve just stayed in the water since that’s where everyone was.  Tsk tsk tsk….
• The microwave gun looks exactly like a big-ass squirt gun.  Seriously……
• The reason behind the invasion is copper and steel.  Yes, the aliens decided to come to earth not because they wanted to get our women and children, or build a freakin’ alien real estate and migrate all of their alien population to earth, or mine all the gold, diamond and oil, or perhaps eat humans.  Nope, they don’t want any of that.  They just want to mine copper and steel…..that’s it.

Hachiko (or Hachi) is the name of the dog that Parker Wilson (Richard Gere) found at the train station when he was on the way home.  For the next few days, he was trying to find out whom Hachiko belonged to.  He put up ads everywhere, and he was also trying to give him up for donation.  But somewhere along the way, he started to fall in love with Hachiko.  So he decided to keep him.  His friend said, “It wasn’t you who found him..  He found you.”

Hachiko is actually an American adaption of a Japanese tale about a loyal dog named Hachiko.  The dog would accompany his master to the train station every day and return each afternoon to greet him after work.  One day, his master passed away and never returned to the station.  Hachiko faithfully returned to the same spot at the station the very next day, and every day for the next nine years to wait for his beloved master until he finally died.  It is truly a sad story and I was really touched by his devotion, love, compassion and unyielding loyalty.  It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen by far, and I was really surprised that this one didn’t even come out in the theater.

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings (American Humorist , 1818-1885)

IndoDONKEY Alert!

Anyways, so when this movie came out in DVD, I decided to give it a shot.  Hell, if I could survive watching Lassie re-runs for hours when I was growing up, I definitely could handle 2 hours watching another dog movie.  I had a very low expectation for this movie despite all the rave reviews that I had heard from a lot of people.

This movies tells a story about a young newlywed couple who moved to a new city, and tried to adjust their life with the new surrounding and new jobs, and a little puppy in between.  I was pleasantly surprised how much I liked this movie.  It wasn’t just all about dogs, but it was also about a journey of love, romance and relationships.  Marley, the dog, was just too adorable.  Well he looked adorable at first..  But after a while, the dog has turned into a little force to be reckoned with.  He’d be peeing everywhere, ripping the sofa cushions, eating pretty much anything in his sight, pooping anywhere he wanted to, biting and chewing anything, going after the postman and much much more..  He was like a living nightmare, to be honest hahahahaaa..  But beyond that, he was a sweet dog whose loyalty was unquestionable, very affectionate, loving and sweet.  Even for those who think dogs aren’t man’s bestfriend, they would find this movie sweet and enjoyable.

This movie kinda reminds me of our family dog, Sir John.  Don’t ask me why we named him Sir John – my siblings were the ones who came up with the name.  I had always been against having any four-legged animals running around the house as pet.  That’s why all my life I’ve only had 2 very low-maintenance pets, a turtle and a gold fish named Bob.  But when I had a privilege of getting to know Sir John when I went home for my vacation in 2008, I immediately liked him.  He was basically the perfect dog I’ve ever met in my life..  Doesn’t bark, doesn’t lick, doesn’t run around and destroy everything, doesn’t fight with other dogs and doesn’t poop/pee anywhere.  He was just basically a fun, sensitive and loving dog.

Marley and Me is definitely not another romantic, cheesy type of chick flick.  Well..  It still falls under category chick flick, but it ain’t The Notebook or Confessions of Shopaholic – if you know what I mean.  It had a wonderful story, and lots of times I felt the movie played with my emotion.  No, I did not shed a single tear, in case if you’re wondering..  Yes, I’d definitely recommend this one as a date movie.  Just make sure you bring some protection…  And I don’t mean helmet, by the way.

IndoDONKEY Alert!