I did not really know what had gotten me, but somehow I decided to watch Shark Night 3D – but without the 3D glasses.  No, I did not see this at the theatre.  I knew it was a stupid movie and I am too cheap to watch stupid movies at the theatre.  I got nothing to do on Sunday morning, so I decided to watch it.  I kept my expectation really low….as low as expecting PeeWee Herman wins an Oscar.

You want to know what I thought about the movie?  I thought it was one helluva worst 2011 movie.  It was unbelievably DUMB.  I mean, I kind of kept my expectation really low, but I should have kept it lower.  I would love to know who was the idiot that came up with the script.  It was really BAD, extremely BAD I might add.  First of all, nobody was famous in this movie.  I mean, NOBODY.  They probably could not find any good actors that would want to play in the movie, so they had probably decided to cast all the extras to be the main stars in the movie.  The acting was so so, it was basically just a bunch of college kids running around trying to kill the big bad-ass sharks.

Second, there was a particular scene in the movie which DID NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!  Sorry for using caps, but I just thought it was extremely ESTUPIDO.  So this black dude was water skiing in the lake.  His friends were stirring the boat and yelling at him to do all the fancy moves – which he did.  All of sudden, there was this shark that came out of nowhere and started chasing the black dude.  The shark finally bit the water ski board, which caused the black dude (sorry, I kept referring him as “the black dude” since 1. He’s black, and 2. I couldn’t remember his name) fell into the water.  So his friends stopped the boat and started yelling at him to come up since they could not see him anywhere in the water (they did not know about the shark).  But the black dude never came up, and they only found the board.  So they went back to the lake house and told everyone how the black dude fell into the water and just disappeared.  You know what happened next?  They found the black dude swim ashore after falling in the middle of the lake…and his right arm (or maybe left arm?) was completely GONE!  Gone as in bitten off by the shark!  Dude was swimming with one arm, probably crossing half of the lake to get ashore, and he ain’t losing much blood.  How the F is that even possible?  He would have died in the process because of losing too much blood! And you know what happened next again?  One of his friends jumped into the lake, trying to find the missing arm……and HE FOUND IT.  First of all, how the F would you know where to find the arm.  It was one big-ass lake!  And the boy found it within a few minutes.  Whomever wrote this screenplay deserves to get shot in the head.

If I had to write all the stupid scenes that I saw in the movie, it would probably take me hours to describe each one of them in this blog.  The movie was just incredible.  I mean, incredibly stupid.  Oh, and have I told you that these sharks were wearing video cameras.  Yes, they were.  Turns out there is a group of bad guys who are behind this (and obviously, they are all rednecks).  So those sharks being in the lake was not just coincidence.  It was part of one big evil plan.  The plan was, they would install the video cameras on the sharks’ heads and they would release them in the lake, hoping the sharks would eat anyone that come in their way.  When that happens, the whole “eating” process would get recorded, and these bad boys would sell the tapes to the Shark Week show.  They believe they would make big bucks from selling the tapes.  How stupid is that?

IndoDONKEY Alert!

Anyways, I decided to watch it since I got nothing to do on weekends.  It was either this movie or the other horse one (you know, the one that was directed by Spielberg).  The other one was about the friendship between a guy and a horse.  Since I’m not really a big fan of movie about horses, I decided to settle with The Darkest Hour.  Besides, this movie has Emile Hirsch in it, and they guy rarely makes bad movies (i.e. Into the Wild, Taking Woodstock, Milk, and The Girl Next Door).

The first few minutes was okay, but 45 minutes going into the movie, I was like when does this movie ever end?!  I seriously started counting down, hoping the good guys will eventually beat the aliens, then the closing credit, and bam….I’m outta theatre.  A couple of things that really bother me:

• The aliens look like glowing jelly fish.  I mean, seriously…they all look like glowing jelly fish.  At first, I didn’t really notice it.  But after a while, I began to think wait a minute, these aliens look exactly like jelly fish!  Except for the fact that they’re kinda glowing orange.  And you don’t even know the physical structure of these aliens.  There are a couple of scenes where the good guys were shooting at them with some sort of big-funny-lookin’ microwave guns (so as they say) and we could finally see what the aliens look like.  They’re like small midgets, but real ugly.  And they’re in some sort of special suit which makes them invisible during the day and glow orange whenever there’s electricity around…or something like that.
• There’s one scene where it just completely doesn’t make any sense!  So they were on a boat going down the river, then all of sudden something exploded which threw them into the water.  When they finally emerged, they couldn’t find this one girl and they thought the girl had drown and dead.  But a few minutes later, someone shot a flare gun and turns out it was the girl.  The problem is, the girl was like in the middle of some buildings near the river.  I was like, how the hell did she end up there?  I mean, everyone was on the boat, then the explosion happened which threw everyone into the water.  But somehow this girl was able to emerge ahead of everyone else, swam and got out of the water (while everyone was still under the water) without waiting for anyone, ran all the way to the nearby building and hid.  And when she realized she couldn’t find anyone, she shot the flare gun hoping everyone would find her.  I mean, WTH man?  She should’ve figured out why she couldn’t find her friends.  Or she should’ve just stayed in the water since that’s where everyone was.  Tsk tsk tsk….
• The microwave gun looks exactly like a big-ass squirt gun.  Seriously……
• The reason behind the invasion is copper and steel.  Yes, the aliens decided to come to earth not because they wanted to get our women and children, or build a freakin’ alien real estate and migrate all of their alien population to earth, or mine all the gold, diamond and oil, or perhaps eat humans.  Nope, they don’t want any of that.  They just want to mine copper and steel…..that’s it.

The black dude who was half human, half goat really annoyed the hell out of me.  He was supposedly “the protector” – someone who protects Percy from anyone who wants to kill him – however, seeing the way he fought, I was seriously in doubt he could protect Percy.  Dude walked around with freakin’ forearm crutches.  Come on now!  How in the world would Percy Jackson be safe from the evil gods/monsters if his only protector walks around with freakin’ forearm crutches?!  They never really showed us if this guy could fight, shoot arrows or maybe have some sword fighting skills or something.  Throughout the movie, I somehow kept wishing he would at least be able to shoot laser from his eyes or something.

Percy Jackson is half god, half human.  His dad is Poseidon, and his mom is basically a mortal human.  His dad left when he was still 3 years old, because supposedly there was unwritten rule somewhere that says when a god is married to a mortal human, then he/she will not be able to stay with his/her family after the child is born.

So Percy Jackson didn’t even know anything about his dad and him being half god, half human until sometime later when he was on a school trip to a museum, one of his teachers all of sudden turned into a really fugly monster with wings and tried to kill him.  He was like, “WTF IS THAT?!”  Then his other teacher, James Bond (or whatever Pierce Brosnan’s character name is) showed up and said, “Well son, you are half god, half human..  And I think that monster wants Zeus’ lightning because she thinks you stole it.”   Heh thanks to his mom who kept her mouth shut about this for 17 years and didn’t even tell anything to young Percy.  Had he known about him being half god half human soon, at least he would’ve been prepared to face the fugly monster with wings.  So basically that’s the whole plot.  Someone stole Zeus’ lightning and somehow spread the word in the god’s world that some young kid named Percy Jackson stole it.  Come on, seriously..  You think gods are that dumb to believe that some 17-year-old kid who had no superpowers, let alone knowing his dad is Poseidon, was able to go (or fly) all the way up to god’s world and somehow stole Zeus’ super duper lightning sword (or whatever) right under his nose…  Tsk tsk tsk tsk….  Thank God I was streaming this movie for free.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

This recent one, on the other hand, I have to say I’m not really too fond of it.  It literally put me to sleep..  And I actually never fall asleep in the theater.  Ever.  Okay well maybe just once, a few years ago when I went to see the most boring movie ever made in the planet, Thin Red Line.  The movie sucked so bad, I was contemplating on walking out in the middle of it and asking for a refund.  But I’m not saying Alice in Wonderland as bad as Thin Red Line..  Oh no, not at all.  The movie is much much better than Thin Red Line, but they both are equally boring as hell.

I think the only great thing about the movie is Johnny Depp.  Thank God Tim Burton decided to put Johnny Depp in this movie.  I couldn’t imagine what the movie would’ve been like without Johnny Depp.  He really saved this one from being super duper boring.  He was so buried under heavy makeup, I literally couldn’t even recognize him in the movie.  But you know, I kinda felt that Pee-wee Herman would’ve been great playing the character that Johnny Depp was playing.  To be honest with you, I think it would’ve been awesome if they had Pee-wee Herman in the movie.

Okay maybe I should’ve seen this movie in 3D.  Had I done that, that would’ve probably changed my opinion about this movie.  I decided not to see it in 3D because it was always sold out and I was just too lazy to wait until the next day to see it.  Besides, I read the book many many times before when I was a kid, so I pretty much already knew the storyline.  Ah well..  Such a disappointment.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

So when I heard about this movie and saw the poster, I was like oh please..  Another movie about werewolves?  Wait, Anthony Hopkins and Benicio Del Toro are in it?  For real?  I started wondering why these two great actors were starring in this movie..  I mean it’s not like they were trying to compete with Edward from Twilight, right?  So after debating whether I should watch it in the theater or DVD, I finally decided to go see it in the theater since the trailer itself looked kinda promising.

The Wolfman is a story of Lawrence Talbot, a nobleman who was called back to his family estate after his brother vanished.  Later his brother’s dead body was found in a horrifying  condition.  Lawrence then started investigating the murder, only to find and unfold other family secrets that were kept from him all these years.

OK first of all, I thought the movie was about werewolves.  Apparently, it was not.  A wolfman IS NOT a werewolf!  Yupp, I got confused right in the middle of the movie.  I was under impression when Benicio Del Toro turned into a wolfman (whoupss SPOIL ALERT!), he was gonna turn into a complete wolf.  Well I was dead wrong.  He did not completely turn into a wolf (like that Native Indian kid does in Twilight), only his mouth, hands and feet that would transform.  Oh, and he would also grow hair all over his body.  That was it!  Anyone who bumps into him that night, would probably think he’s a hairy, creepy lookin’ homeless guy.  Nothing more.  But when Anthony Hopkins turned into a wolfman, boyy he was one fugly wolfman.  I mean, he basically looked like an OLD hairy, creepy lookin’ homeless guy..  Well except that he looked scarier than Benicio.  If you ever watched Teen Wolf (with Michael J. Fox), these wolfmen look nothing like him.  Teen wolf kinda looks like a mix between that stupid bigfoot from Harry and the Hendersons TV show and the caveman from Geico commercial.  The wolfmen in this movie looked more terrifying than teen wolf.  At least they did a pretty good job with the make-up.

When I was watching the movie, I was gonna eat my sandwich until I saw a scene where it showed the wolfman killing a group of guys in a Tasmanian Devil sort-of way.  Seriously..  I saw human limbs flying everywhere and blood squirting all over the place.  I was like, hoooooolllyy crap!  WTF is that?  Oh..  I guess those are intestines spread out all over..  I see.  Definitely not an ideal time to enjoy my sandwich.

I honestly thought the movie was pretty decent..  I think they did a pretty good job casting the right people for the roles.  I didn’t even know Mr. Smith from the Matrix was gonna be in this movie as well.  Hahah yeah somehow every time I saw his face, I kept wishing he would say something like, “Hello Mr. Anderson..”  Or maybe he would put his sunglasses on when he rode his horse.  The action scenes were also great and very entertaining – although I didn’t really enjoy seeing human limbs flying everywhere, or when the wolfman decapitated one of his attackers.  So my advice, please keep your snacks/food away if you’re going to see this movie.  Some scenes can be pretty graphic and should not be viewed if you have a weak stomach.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

Daybreakers took place in the year of 2019, when a plague has turned half of world’s population into vampires.  Humans still exist in some part of the world; however, majority of them are being farmed for their blood.  Faced with a dwindling blood supply, the vampires were forced to find a blood substitute.  Unfortunately, their effort to find this blood substitute wasn’t as easy as they had thought it would be.

I found Daybreakers a really interesting movie because it was very original, had a good concept and I constantly found myself on the edge of my seat wondering what was gonna happen in the next scene.  Ethan Hawke was awesome; he was really able to portray a vampire character who felt that he had a moral obligation to save the human race despite of his current condition as a vampire (which obviously depends so much on human blood as part of his daily meal) and his job as the Chief of Hematologist (blood expert).  Willem Dafoe was also great in the movie, playing as a recovered vampire (hahaha “recovered”)..  The guy is already skinnier than the rest of the casts and whiter than the toilet paper so he really looked believable playing as a recovered vampire.  I loved the scene where it was showing the “human farm” (see the movie poster), and it kinda reminded me of one of the scenes in the Matrix where Keanu Reeves suddenly woke up after he took the blue pill (or maybe red?) only to find himself in a human farm operated by the “machines.”

Oh there was one particular scene in the movie which I also liked, and it almost made me scream in the theater hahahahaa..  It was when these group of vampire scientists were testing the blood substitute by injecting it into one of the test subjects (in this case, another vampire).  Within seconds, he was screaming in pain and rashes showing up all over his body.  One of the scientists finally injected the antibody into him which immediately made the rashes disappear.  But 3 seconds later, the moment after he said thank you to the scientists, his body blew up!  I almost jumped off my seat when it blew up because I didn’t even see it coming.  I was like CRAP!  Thank God I cursed, not screamed like a little b*tch..  Hahahahahaaaa..

IndoDONKEY Alert!

After having waited for 5 long years, I finally got a chance to see Avatar, a James Cameron’s movie which supposedly is the next generation in 3D technology.  I have to admit, the movie was just incredible.  I mean, I’ve seen a lot of 3D movies before, but this one is literally at the top of my list.  I could see the attention to detail that James Cameron put so much emphasis on in the movie, starting from the moment both characters were walking in the woods – whenever they stepped on the grass or something, the grass would light up under their feet.  Little things like that really made so excited like a five-year-old sitting in the theater, watching his first movie.  I felt like I was trying to open my eyes wider so I wouldn’t miss anything on the screen.

I was so amazed seeing the floating mountains, the bio-luminescences plans in the woods, the six-limbed horses (all animals in Pandora have six limbs) and the trees (they’re all weirdly shaped) in the movie.  I could definitely tell James Cameron really thought everything thorough when creating the world of Pandora.  Even the concept of six-limbed animals – I believe I read it somewhere that in Pandora, even though it resembles Earth, but the gravity is much lower.  That’s why all animals in Pandora have six limbs in order to be able to support their weight.

The movie was pretty long – almost 3 hours.  But honestly, I was so glued to my seat that it didn’t feel like 3 hours at all.  In fact, I was secretly hoping it would keep showing for another 2 hours hahahhaaa..  I just loved everything about it, even the storyline – it was one of the best that I’ve seen by far.

Check out this clip about the world of Pandora that I found on Youtube.

I seriously can go on and on writing about the movie, but I feel at this point I’ve already revealed too much about it hahahaa..  Sorry peeps!  Seriously though, the movie is sooo well worth sitting for almost 3 hours in the theater.  In fact, I wouldn’t mind watching this again.  Make sure you see this in 3D.  Better yet, go to Imax to see it.

One more thing, there was a scene where two Na’vis were making out in the middle of the woods.  When they kissed, I couldn’t believe they actually kissed like human.  The kiss felt (looked) so real and convincing, and I didn’t even realize I was actually looking at two digitally-made characters kissing each other (NOT two people in a Na’vi costume and makeup).  Too bad that particular scene wasn’t extended for a few more seconds..  I wonder if they actually “mate” like human too.

IndoDONKEY Alert!

What does this mean?